She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
