He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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