I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
