I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we're making bets on your personal life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
