Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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