Already got asked if we're dating
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
