Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize