Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
