Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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