My room smells like vodka and shame
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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