they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I understand Curling. That high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
