guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
