This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
...so i touched it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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