PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
