Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize