i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
