Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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