The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
