Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
