these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
