GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
