someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
