I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
