You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
