Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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