She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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