she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
