Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
