**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
