WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
