Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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