im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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