we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need to calm my uterus...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
