We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
