I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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