My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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