So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
