Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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