This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
