I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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