He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All I want is dick and wine.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
