so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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