addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
