oh god the rape fog is back!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
