Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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