Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You made out with two different species that night
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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