I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
