this boner is exhausting
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize