we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
