woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just pee around me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
