Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
