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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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