i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
