First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
