Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
