I'm really into asian looking animals
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
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I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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