New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
