If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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