so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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