why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
