i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its liver damage thursday
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize