im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
