I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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