there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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