everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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