I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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