I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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