id be glad to
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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