Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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