My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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