Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
