I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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