my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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