you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
