im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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