I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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