Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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